breathing it all in

For those of you who know me well, you know that I always have a "theme song" or a song that kind of represents my current stage in life. Over the years, these theme songs have spanned from South Pacific's "Cockeyed Optimist" to the Beetle's classic "Blackbird." From Rascal Flatt's "Here" to Missy Higgins' "Sound of White" and "Steer." I've probably had close to 100 of these selected theme songs , but there has been one sort of overarching theme song that I feel expresses how I view life and living pretty dang well that I figured I would share...plus it fits in wonderfully with my blogs theme! "Anyway" by Martina McBride You can spend your whole life building Something from nothin' One storm can come and blow it all away Build it anyway You can chase a dream That seems so out of reach And you know it might not ever come your way Dream it anyway God is great But sometimes life ain't good ...

For me, this last year has been a year of change (and no, these "changes" that I am referring to have nothing to do with the current leader of our nation or a certain video that they make you watch in the 5th grade). I do not believe that there has been a single year up to this point in my life that has promoted as much growth as 2009. This glorious year dealt me diverse experiences that tried my faith, tried my happiness, tried my patience, tried my confidence, and tried my ability to love. Although these experiences proved bleak and bred much confusion, I can honestly say that they made me a better version of myself. I rejoice in my being tried, for tried faith, happiness, patience, confidence, and charity have resulted in their increasing. hahaha...it's kind of funny to me, actually--I look at myself and some of the things that I did and thought two years ago, one year ago, six months ago, even three months ago, and I can't help but laugh at myself! I guess ...

This is what happens when things are slow at the EFY office and I need a break from studying! Here is the original picture... and here is what happened to it! and "best" for last...

So I was talking with two of my roommates yesterday afternoon about boys, dating, and the like, and something that I said seemed to amuse them: “I don’t think that there are many guys that I could go with—I am just so weird and quirky…but one day I’m going to make a man from a very rare breed extremely, ridiculously happy.” Initially I said this in a “half way serious, half way making fun of myself” sort of way, but the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve come to terms with the fact that this statement holds a lot of truth…sort of to my dismay and perhaps to my dating demise, I need a very rare, interesting, and specific type of man. Now, I know what you're thinking and I can promise you that I am not overly picky. Yes, I am aware of some things that I need in a guy, but mostly I just think that there aren't many guys that would be able to handle me. I can be quite a handful. HAHAHA. That’s ok—I’m young. I’ve got time!

"Some fine carpenters from Norway who arrived and settled in Manti were given the assignment of building the roof for the temple. They had never built a roof structure before, but they had experience as shipbuilders. They didn’t know how they would design a roof. Then the thought came to them: “Why don’t we just build a ship? Then, because a well-built ship is solid and secure, if we turn the plans upside down, we’ll have a secure roof.” They set about to plan to construct a ship, and when it was completed, they turned the plan upside down and it became the plan for the roof of the Manti Temple... These Norwegian shipbuilders brought with them the fundamental skills of their trade, which could be turned from building ships to building temples. What caused their dramatic shift in priorities? There is only one answer that explains their willingness to sacrifice everything to become builders of the kingdom of God. They had been taught and accepted the eternal principles and truths of...

So I was intending to take a little bit of time and write something on the good ol' blog today. It was even posted on my to-do list. Unfortunately the other things on my list and watching the season finale of Gilmore Girls season five seemed more important than taking the time to write something good, so here we are...at least I posted something! Now I can say that I finished everything on my list for today! WAHOOOOOO! Oh, except for planning out next week's meals. That's ok. I was still pretty productive today, I guess...and I promise that I'll get a decent post up in the next couple of days--there's a lot that has been going on as of late, so yeah!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! aka I'm really, REALLY ready for thanksgiving break so that I can see my family and have a more productive/healthy outlet to which I can release my frustrations, but they're not here so I'm going to vent on my blog and then regret posting all of this an hour later after I feel better because by then I'll realize how ridiculous this rant is and how much no one on here wants to read my ridiculousness--oh well! here we go anyway!...hahaha Slay school and stupid, pointless books that prevent me from reading better books and papers and PAPERS ON STUPID BOOKS. Slay boys and dating and me not wanting...

So I absolutely love writing poetry--it's definitely a way that I release pent-up emotion. Usually I keep my writings to myself, but I figured I might as well share one with the masses! This particular poem ties in well with the theme of my blog so it won the honor of being posted...ha. I hope that you enjoy it--and even if you don't, I do and that's what matters I suppose! A Lament of Disappointed Passions The world was full of color-lovely, radiant, and true But every hue intensified upon me finding you. The deepest joy of royal blue grew deep and deeper still And the truest, purest, pearly love came fair enough to fill-- But when you journeyed on you took the sunshine and the day And what was left, but darkened skies, and unknown shades of grey. So there I stood, confused to what had happened to the noon. What had I done to make the warmth and colors fade so soon? I looked and searched and fought in hopes to gain my color back But as I fought the darker gre...

So you know when you have a word on the tip of your tongue and you know that part of you knows what it is but for whatever reason it won’t come out? Yeah—that’s kind of how I’ve felt for the last like, week! I feel like I’m on the brink of something really great. I’m not exactly sure what type if great it will be—it could be “exciting news” great or maybe “going on a mission” great. In all honesty part of me kind of thinks (and has my fingers crossed) that it’s a “wonderful guy is going to pop out of the woodwork” great. I’m not sure why I think this—there really isn’t anything developing that seems like it’d be super promising. I guess that could change really, REALLY quickly. If it is a new guy, I would have to laugh at myself really hard considering that I started dating both of the guys that I’ve really loved in the first week of November (one in 2007, the other in 2008) and that would just be ironic. Who knows, maybe there is just something about this time of year! Hahahah. Whatev...

“Breathing it all in” entails taking a minute while you’re walking to class to stop and look at a single rose. You admire its dew-kissed, velvet petals painted different hues of deep and deeper red. You notice its waxy steam adorned in veined, sun-spotted leaves that have provided lunch for many an aphid. You realize its faintly perfumed intoxicant. Chances are good that you may even encounter a thorn or two. Because of this examination, you are able to appreciate this rose for the tired, semi- hazardous, magnificently beautiful flower that it is. Through your study you stumble upon a much greater degree of richness than you possibly could have if you had simply noticed the rose and walked by. I want to experience this type of richness in all of the different aspects of my life. I want to feel the joy of a hard day’s work, to know the disappointment of a dismal failure, to taste the satisfaction of gaining knowledge toiled for, to experience the humiliation of doing something st...